without realization. another cycle is complete. like always it begins with desire, turns into attachment and ends with ego death. A learning and and a blessing in disguise. this time it is different. i hurt throughout it. so after it ended, i don't hurt like i did before. Letting it go so many times has given me much practice. now i have to practice more consciously.
this time i don't blame anyone; not even myself. What had to happen, happened. it had to happen through me. i was just a medium. for both, positive as well as the negative energies. the world can praise me for the perceived good and can criticize me for the apparent bad. I take non of it. i just played my role. There were times that i enjoyed playing this role and there were times when i didn't like it one bit. but i played it alright. I am okay now. i analyzed and pondered over all of it while it happened. i have no motivation for any further analysis or judgments. with awareness and from the ego, i have seen it all.
I don't even have the urge to empty myself. whatever is inside is fine by me and whatever isn't, will not be.
i am humbled and patient again. What must be, will be.
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